I came across some truly comforting words in an unexpected place - a blog called 'cupcakes and cashmere.' It's kind of embarrassing to admit, but I'm still not comfortable with who I am. Isn't twenty six a bit too old for that sort of insecurity? I feel like I'm just now starting to put my adult life together, and I wonder whether that's "normal." It was so reassuring to read these words and be reminded that I'm not the only one who feels this way:
----------
In keeping with the theme of today's post, I've thought about the five things that currently define my life and how they've changed in recent years.
Friends and family have always been a priority, but my social circle as become increasingly intimate, no longer burdened by a large group of casual acquaintances. The more comfortable I've become with myself, the better friend I've been able to be and that kind of vulnerability has made for even deeper connections. My friends have become my family.
I've embraced my introverted side - that it's okay to favor a quiet night in with a glass of wine and a good book instead of a crowded bar. It's helped me understand that a truly great home is one that's clean, comfortable, and calming.
My dad once wrote in a book that he gave to me, "Find your passion, then find someone to pay you to pursue it." When I started by blog, I had no intention of turning it into a business, I simply created a space where I could share things that inspired me. Pursuing a job that was a undefined (you can't exactly major in blogging) was the biggest risk of my life, but it's led to a career that fulfills me more than I ever thought possible.
I feel lucky to have lived in the same city for eight years, which has provided me with a sense of community. I find comfort in knowing that I'm part of something bigger beyond just myself, so I give back to things that matter to me (mainly local animal shelters). Because of the joy that out two rescue cats have brought to our lives, I learned the significance of paying it forward.
I see no that the most important relationship is the one I have with myself. For someone who's extremely self critical, this has always been the hardest thing to tackle. To work on my faults, not just scrutinize them, to view my shortcomings as works in progress, and to give myself a break with I'm feeling most insecure. I try to envision the woman I want to become - who's able to find balance in her life, project positivity, and constantly better herself.
----------
Tomorrow I sign the lease for my new apartment. It feels like a small leap of faith, and I hope it'll be my first step towards being more proactive in general. Maybe it's dumb to pay rent when I could just stay at home, but I don't want to look back and regret not having tried. Here goes....